Let it be known:

As of three o’clock in the afternoon Eastern Standard Time on Saturday of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in the year of our Lord two-thousand and six, I will receive a key to a room in an apartment in a building in a respectably ungentrified neighborhood a little East of Williamsburg, a little West of Bed-Stuy in the borough of Brooklyn in the fair city of New York, and I will call it “home.”